Five things I want

So this is going to be a self-indulgent post. An opinionated, personal and pointed reply to the question ‘What do I want?’ I could start by listing the job opportunities opened up by my degree or how big I want my family to be when/if I have children. But the focus of this piece of writing is going to be wider, more general and more open to interpretation. What’s the point in being so specific in your future when there’s so many different avenues you could take?

1. I want to feel challenged.

I want to keep learning, always hungry for more information. I want to keep knowledge constantly feeding through. Why stop learning when there’s so many stories to be heard? Why stop challenging your brain when your formal education ends? And why stop building yourself, allowing yourself to have a grip on different concepts, understand how that culture operates or how that small device actually works. To keep growing in life is to keep feeling alive. I want to feel like I am getting to know my world.

2. I want to feel excited.

To feel passionate and elevated is to feel alive. I want to climb mountains, feel the waves in the sea and feel the sun on my back. It’s so important to feel revived and energised from all different experiences. Even to feel excited for completing a project that took planning, preparation and patience. I believe everyone should be passionate for something, be it drawing or figure skating. It’s so important to find your interest and then embrace all aspects of it. I want to feel excitement.

3. I want to feel content.

At smaller, but just as important, level I want to feel contented with my world. I want to feel happy and at peace with the choices I make. Not that this is to stop myself challenging myself, on the contrary I want to feel content with the fact I am pushing myself enough. Challenges are an important part of keeping yourself happy.

I want to be content with where I have been and excited for the challenge of where I will be heading.

4. I want to feel loved.

At a basic human level everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to know that someone cares, believes and has trust in them; I’m definitely no different to anybody else in this respect. I want to keep my family close, build friendships and spend all my time with those that I love. A life you can’t share is an unfortunate one in my opinion. I want to feel loved and love to my heart’s content.

5. I want to feel alive.

What is life if you can’t experience all it has to offer? Grab your camera, put on some shoes and see those sunrises, sunsets and storms. I want to feel the wind, run in the rain and watch the clouds. A friend one said ‘the desire to remain as you are is ultimately what limits you’ and I think this is so important to keep in mind. Challenge your routines, habits and normal walkways to keep the mind active. The world is always evolving and the human mind and body is amazing at adapting so we have no excuse.

And so my indulgent, soppy and idealistic post is almost finished. I think it’s important to remind yourself of where you want to be and reflect on where you used to be. Education, excitement, security and love allow you to become more than an existence and more of a spirit.

I want to be me.

Directions

Sitting down to write this blog I’m suddenly faced with the scary decision of what direction I would like my entries to take. Do I focus on particular topics, fashion, hobbies or food? The endless possibilities of what form a blog could take is all of a sudden very overwhelming, a mind field of possibilities. However, I don’t spend vast amounts of time looking at different fashion trends, I enjoy my hobbies but not enough to write a entire blog on them and my student cuisine is possibly the last thing anyone would care to read about. Instead I suppose this blog will focus on my thoughts, reflections and vague insights into ‘the world of Rachel’.

In some ways my indecision and lack of focus of where this blog could go symbolizes many aspects of my life right now. I am currently completing an undergraduate degree in psychology but I have no concrete ideas as to where this may lead. Faced with many different possibilities throughout the job market only choosing one career for the rest of my life feels very far off. I don’t feel ready to settle into a 9-5 job, earning a monthly pay check and having the same routine day in day out. The world seems far too big, with far too many exciting things to see and experience to cut them out right now. I want to visit Machu Picchu, swim with dolphins and teach children in underdeveloped countries. Completing this degree seems to be limiting my future prospects rather than opening them as I am faced with the biggest decision I have ever made.

Making a concrete decision, whether it is about the direction of this blog or my future career, fills me with apprehension and doubt. My future seems so far away at the moment and perhaps this is a good mentality to have. Life is for the living. If we spend our days constantly worrying about the future then how will we experience the present?

So here it goes, a blog focused my current thoughts, focusing on the now and leaving the future to develop. I’m sure I’ll find a direction for my present career in time, perhaps even a more focused direction for this blog. However, for now the present is more than enough and I hope you enjoy my reflections.